The Beekeeper

In The Beekeeper, Jason Statham plays an actual keeper of bees who also just so happens to be a retired super solider (no serum or anything, he’s just Jason Statham) from a covert government task squad known as The Beekeepers.

I’m halfway tempted to just stop right there because it so perfectly encapsulates what’s so great about The Beekeeper, a back to basics action flick that we used to get so much of in the 90’s. However, to compare this movie to that era of action filmmaking would be doing it a disservice. The Beekeeper has no interest with lounging in nostalgia, instead it steams ahead knowing it is simply a rock solid Statham flick with a decent budget and a movie star who can still whoop ass with the best of them.

The film opens with Statham tending to his bees in a barn he rents from Phylicia Rashad (Creed’s Mom). The two share a certain kinship with one another, with the bald man especially feeling like she’s the grandmother he never had, probably. Honestly, the movie doesn’t even try to explain their history is any way, and immediately barrels forward with Rashad getting scammed out of her life savings by Josh Hutcherson and his crew of hackers. After the sweet old lady takes her own life, Statham comes out of retirement in a bid to rid the world of the corruption and harm that Hutcherson and company have inflicted.

Yes, the plot is simple and to the point, but aside from it just serving as an excuse to let Statham make his way through dozens of goons, it actually stays very committed to its own bit. The Beekeeper believes in good over evil above all else, legal system be damned, and he’ll tell you so every chance he gets (usually with a metaphor involving bees). Again, it’s something that seems very simple and obvious, but it’s actually a relief to watch an action movie with a decent budget that has no time for moral ambiguity. The bad guys are bad and Jason Statham is good, and that’s that. Honestly, the movie treats Statham like he’s a superhero in that way, even going so far as to give him a big hero shot as he finally puts on his suit jacket as if he were Bruce Wayne suiting up in the batcave. Just incredible.

Like any standard superhero movie, Statham takes out an infinite amount of highly trained hired guns without so much as a scratch. Between this and the fact that everyone basically shits a brick anytime they hear that a beekeeper is coming for their ass gives Statham’s character a mythical quality. It’s only when The Beekeeper goes one on one with the biggest and baddest hired gun that he meets his match. The two trade blows over and over, when suddenly, as the two catch their breath for a moment, the goon says to Statham, “You’re just a man” as if he was trying to convince himself. It’s a quick but awesome moment, as the power of Statham has proven to be so strong, even the hardest of men aren’t sure if he’s human. Of course, Statham’s response is equally as captivating. Upon hearing the accusation that he is simply a man, he answers, “I know” before obliterating this dude for being a dumb idiot.

I know this all sounds ridiculous and over the top, and it is, but it really helps that you have actors like Jeremy Irons, Josh Hutcherson and even a brief cameo by Minnie Driver (!) that can help the viewer get on the movie’s wavelength. Along with Statham, these three actors know exactly what kind of movie they’re in and have a ball with it. Hutcherson in particular is having fun being the main bad guy and I honestly hope we see him more in the future.

In terms of three star action flicks, The Beekeeper is five stars. A perfectly enjoyable Statham vehicle that delivers on its promise of prestine Statham ass kickings. Don’t be dumb, watch this movie now.

The Batman

I am a massive Batman fan, and when it comes to movies about The Caped Crusader I can enjoy pretty much anything the character appears in in some way shape or form (yes, this means I stan for Batman & Robin, a truly incredible What The Fuck Is This? level of blockbuster filmmaking). So yes, I loved The Batman. Everyone in it and everything about it. This movie is entirely my kind of shit. I’m saying this upfront because I’m going to get into some spoiler territory here. I’ll do my best to keep it mild, but if you want to go in as blind as possible then enjoy this paragraph, go see the movie and come back after! Consider yourself warned.

Spoilers for The Batman to follow.

The Batman is a complete cinematic reboot of the character, without any connection to other DC movies, and filmmaker Matt Reeves (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, War for the Planet of the Apes) and star Robert Pattinson (Fuckin’ Edward, baby) have delivered what is quickly becoming my favorite iteration of the character yet.

First things first, my boy Pattinson kills it and fits into the cowl with confident ease. His Batman is almost feral, desperate to get to work every moment he’s not in the suit. Pattinson proves he is more than capable of slapping goons around with the best of them, but its his eyes and body movement in the quietest of moments that reveal just how good he is as the world’s greatest detective. The way he does or doesn’t look at someone, his slow but Tough As Fuck walk, how he gestures to a clue at a crime scene that the cops haven’t found yet. But more than anything, Pattinson’s sense of rage is the real deal. It consumes him, and Pattinson is completely and utterly convincing as someone who would dress as a bat and fight crime at night.

This is also the first Batman movie where it really seems like Batman is the main character. I say that because we barely see Bruce Wayne. When we do, its quick and to the point (one scene in particular features one of the best and most vulnerable moments for Bruce Wayne ever put on film. R Patz is SO good), but otherwise, we’re with Batman. It’s fitting too because as we all know, Bruce Wayne is his true mask, and it’s beyond fucking cool to see a Batman movie where Batman is truly front and center almost the entire time.

Director/Co-Writer Reeves must be given credit for getting straight to the point and avoiding another origin story. Early on we learn that Batman is knee deep in his second year on the job and the movie just goes from there. It’s nice when a filmmaker trusts his audience, and in this case Reeves trusts that we get who Batman is, and the film works so much better for it.

Reeves also goes out of his way to make a true blue detective story. Dark, gritty and punctuated with narration from The Bat himself, the film follows Batman as he works with Lt. Gordon (more on him in a bit) to stop The Riddler as he goes after the corrupt leadership of Gotham, and it’s really treated like a procedural. This is the kind of Batman I have always wanted to see on the big screen. I feel like people forget that he really is considered The World’s Greatest Detective in the comics, and until now only the more cartoonish versions of the character have been the only ones to really embrace this fact. A buddy of mine actually mentioned that it really felt like SEVEN to them and the more I think about it, the more I think he’s totally right. What is SEVEN if not a detective story? The Batman also has a grimey and grim vibe to it and its city as well, fitting right into that SEVEN aesthetic again. I mean shit, the idea of a Batman movie riffing on SEVEN, to me, is mind blowing. The fact that Reeves and company totally nailed it is, in a word, incredible.

Another element I love about the film is that Batman is constantly around people. In previous films, it felt like only Gordon and the villains had any real interaction with The Batman, but here he is walking through night clubs, police stations and crime scenes like he owns the whole damn town (which, I mean…) His interactions with cops are especially interesting. Aside from Gordon, he hates them (my man almost takes on an entire precinct simply because they pissed him off).

The spoilers have been mild so far but now I want to talk about a specific moment that happens at the end of the film, so-

MAJOR SPOILER

To continue on the point of The Batman constantly being around people, the finale involves Batman taking down a mob of Riddler’s goons trying to kill Gotham’s Mayor-Elect in a packed stadium. During this take down much destruction happens and the Mayor-Elect and several people get trapped underneath debris. Once the fight is over Batman rushes to the trapped crowd, clears the debris, and offers his hand to the soon to be Mayor (who up until this point has been adamant about arresting The Batman and restoring order the proper way) but she hesitates, unsure of his motives. Suddenly, the young son of the previously slain Mayor running for re-election, an orphan, reaches out to grab his hand. Batman takes it and lifts him and begins to walk him to safety. The crowd starts to follow. Outside we see him walking among cops and citizens alike, all in awe. Whatever fear they had before now gone. We see and experience the people of Gotham realizing that Batman is fighting for them. And that’s what I love so much right there. No matter how dark Batman can get, the character is ultimately about hope. Hope that he can make a difference and inspire people. Hope that he can stop as many people from going through what he had to as he can. It’s one of the many reasons that make Batman one of my all time favorite characters, and it’s beautifully realized here.

END OF SPOILERS

Now, let’s talk about the rest of the cast. Paul Dano and his Zodiac inspired Riddler was creepy AF, and is an excellent fit for the detective vibe of the whole thing. Colin Farrell is unrecognizable under mountains of prosthetics as The Penguin. Farrell is a somewhat small part of the ensemble here, as it seems he is being teed up for future installments, but it doesn’t feel forced at all, and it’s clear Farrell is having a blast playing him, so I can’t wait to see more. Actually, the film makes it seem that we’ll see just about everyone again (who made it to the end, that is), which is particularly exciting because we haven’t really seen any villains repeat in a major way in a Batman movie besides maybe The Scarecrow in the Nolan films (but even then his parts in the sequels were glorified cameos), which is exciting to me.

Zoë Kravitz is a perfect Catwoman, and yes it really is as simple as that. Her and Batman actually have a fully realized relationship the likes of which the big screen hasn’t seen before (not knocking any previous version BTW). Their flirtatious back and forth was a highlight for sure.

But good lord, Jeffrey Wright as Jim Gordon is maybe the film’s MVP. Batman and Gordon are a real team here. They are always working together and communicating plans and helping each other out as much as they can, it’s honestly so fucking cool to see. They actually feel like friends, so much so that a scene where Gordon has to pretend to be angry at Batman in front other cops for reasons is one of the funniest and best in the whole movie (and yes, the film does have a sense of humor, sly as it may be).

From a technical standpoint The Batman is exquisite in every way. The cinematography by Greg Fraser (Dune Part I) is jaw droppingly gorgeous. Easily one of the best looking blockbusters ever made. Reeves crafts multiple thrilling set pieces that rival any great action movie (the Batman/Penguin car chase is a particular highlight). But Michael Giacchino’s score has somehow defeated all odds and immediately and successfully stands tall with every other iconic theme the Dark Knight has already had. It’s just that good.

Honestly, one of my only gripes is that we don’t get enough of Alfred, here played by the great Andy Serkis. He does great while he can, but his character gets sidelined big time. Here’s hoping future installments give me more of ol’ Al.

I really can’t tell you how much I loved The Batman. A perfect Batman movie that finally dives headfirst into the detective qualities without sacrificing its comic book origins. See it, and see it now.

Dune Part One

Mild Spoilers for Dune to follow.

It is by some happenstance that I came into Dune without ever reading the book or seeing any previous adaptation. I hadn’t done this on purpose, it’s just one of those things. Despite my lack of attachment to the source material, I found myself dying to see this new version simply as a fan of director Denis Villeneuve. After a run that includes Prisoners, Sicario, Enemy, Arrival, and Blade Runner 2049, Villeneuve movies have earned the esteemed Event Status in this here household, and expectations were high.

Look, maybe I’m a basic bitch, but I straight up loved Dune. Everything about it. The cast, the visuals, the score, the world building, all of it.

But most of all, I loved seeing a new Villeneuve movie. The man jumps from genre to genre with ease, crafting classics including thrillers, drug cartel dramas, an emotional movie about aliens and a legacy sci fi sequel. With Dune, Denis tackles the space opera, and it’s every bit as good as anything the director has done before.

One of the most impressive things about Dune is the absolute impeccable world building going on. Not since The Fellowship of the Ring has a movie been so successful at laying groundwork while also advancing the story and characters in an entertaining and easy to understand way. There is plenty of exposition, of course, but I mean there has to be in a movie like this, and thankfully it never feels like the movie is stopping in its tracks to get the audience up to speed.

It doesn’t hurt when you’ve got a cast that includes Timothèe Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Jason Momoa, Oscar Isaac, Stellan Starsgård, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem plus a little Zendaya and Dave Bautista for ya, as a treat. Every actor, no matter how big the part, stands out, with little Tim being an effective lead. The kid holds the movie on his shoulders like he’s done it 1000 times before, and still gives an amazing performance to boot.

And although this is just part one of two (as I wrote this review news broke about Part Two being officially greenlit!), the movie still feels whole, avoiding the itch to leave on a straight up cliffhanger and instead simply implying that this is just the beginning.

Bring on Part Two, baby. Papa’s ready.

Halloween Kills

Spoilers for Halloween Kills to follow.

I am a living, breathing human, so obviously I love John Carpenter’s original Halloween. I was beyond excited when I learned that director David Gordon Green and co-writer Danny McBride (!) were making a direct sequel to the 1978 classic that would ignore all other sequels and timelines. When I saw the movie opening weekend with friends, I found it incredibly disappointing. Not bad, just not what I was expecting. What was I expecting? Truthfully, I don’t 100% know, but the movie that played before my eyes wasn’t it. Months later I watched it again at home and was able to adjust my expectations and enjoy it much more, and recently a third viewing in anticipation of Kills clenched it, I now loved Halloween’18. I was finally on the same page with what David Gordon Green and company were trying to do, and once again my expectations for the follow up started to rise.

I’ll tell you right now, after two viewings, I fucking love Halloween Kills. The gore and kills in the film are the best and most extreme of any Halloween yet, and best of all, Michael Myers feels legitimately frightening here. However, Green and company also add an insane amount of melodrama that often threatens to take away enjoyment from this otherwise wildly entertaining slasher flick.

There are a lot of declarative statements made in this movie (if you take a drink every time someone says “Evil dies tonight” you will not live to see the end of the movie), so much so that they often take the place of any real dialogue between characters, which means most of the film is just “He needs to die, and I’m going to kill him!” or “He’s terrorized this town for 40 years!” or the aforementioned “Evil dies tonight!” Or when there is actual dialogue, it’s often quite terrible. Just characters saying back and forth to one another that something needs to be done about Michael. MICHAEL!

None of that bothers me though, because Green seems to be more interested in playing with the myth of Halloween, and turning Michael Myers into something truly terrifying and unstoppable, and in my opinion is so successful in doing so that it completely overshadows anything else.

The first time we see Michael in the present day (the film briefly flashes back to 1978) he takes out an entire squad of firefighters with ease, shoving axes into faces left and right, and Green captures all the spectacular gore beautifully. It’s a mission statement for what’s to come, as the movie is wall to wall with grisly kills and outrageous practical effects (there is one particular eye gouging that is an all timer). This version of Michael tiptoes on the verge of superhuman (he’s shot and stabbed multiple times and barely flinches), but the film never veers into supernatural territory. It simply declares Michael as Pure Evil, an unstoppable force, plain and simple. For me, this makes him all the more terrifying. No cult controlling him or ghostly shenanigans, just a person with nothing but murder and mayhem on the mind.

Halloween Kills does attempt to play with some big ideas, specifically the nature of mob mentality. Anthony Michael Hall plays Tommy Doyle, the character that Laurie Strode was babysitting in the original film, and he has turned into the kind of dude who loves to work up crowds with misinformation and a self declared sense of justice. It’s exactly what it sounds like and Hall plays it to perfection, but the film doesn’t seem to have any real interest in exploring the reasons why people become so reactionary in times of chaos, and instead quickly moves on to the next kill. But once again, that doesn’t bother me! Yes, I do think there could be plenty of interesting ways the movie could have taken a moment to play and dig into those themes, but I feel like Green and company didn’t want to slow things down and wanted to focus on the mayhem, and I’m so not mad at that. Plus, there is always the possibility that the next (and supposed final) entry could take the time and deal with the fallout of the events in Kills. For now, I’m just happy to have a gnarly AF Halloween flick.

Hey now! What about the Queen Jamie Lee Curtis or the equally awesome Judy Greer? Well, they’re in it! They don’t have much to do, but they are definitely there! Honestly, Jamie is confined to a hospital bed for most of the movie, but she brings everything she has every moment she’s on screen.

Halloween Kills is far from perfect, but I found it to be an enormously entertaining slasher, and I adored the idea of having a Halloween movie that mostly focuses on the pure brutality of its masked icon. No insight, no reasoning, just an entire movie of Michael doing what he does best, and I could not be happier.

The Suicide Squad

Mild spoilers for The Suicide Squad to follow.

James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad is an insanely entertaining, hilarious, and gory delight of a comic book movie. The director gets to let his traditionally R rated sensibilities shine on a huge comic book movie for the first time, and the result is a film that makes you completely forget that the first installment even exists.

I don’t want to talk too much shit about the original Suicide Squad. We all know it’s bad, nothing can change that now. But one of the true miracles this new entry achieves is that it immediately washes the bad taste of that movie out of your mouth by setting up a new (ish) squad and a new mission within the first five minutes and never looks back.

Returning this time around are Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flagg, Jai Courtney as Captain Boomerang, Viola Davis as the SOB in charge Amanda Waller, and of course Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn.

As for the new cast? Shit. It’s madness. Idris Elba, John Cena, David Dastmalchian, Pete Davidson, Peter Capaldi, Alice Braga, Nathan Fillion, Michael Rooker, Sean Gunn, Steve Agee, Flula Borg, Sylvester Stallone, and newcomer Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher II.

Everyone here is cast and used to perfection. Some are only around for 10 minutes, others not much longer, but they all get some kind of moment to stand out, and it’s a testament to Gunn’s abilities to be able to juggle such a huge cast so well. Oh, and he definitely kills off a few characters that you thought were 100% safe.

Anywho, I have to highlight this cast, as they are simply too good to not talk about.

Idris Elba is a mountain of charisma here. The actor is clearly relishing the chance to just have fun, as he goes from hilarious to badass often in the same scene. What’s even better is that his character is quite clearly a piece of shit, as an early scene demonstrates with a heartbreaking and often hilarious exchange with his estranged daughter. Elba carries the film with ease, and I’m hoping we get to see his Bloodsport pop up in the future.

John Cena’s The Peacemaker is the best fit for Cena yet as an on screen performer. I think the former wrestler excels with comedic material, and The Suicide Squad finally finds the perfect balance of both his physical and comedic abilities. There is one scene is particular where Elba and Cena are trying to out do one another while on a raid that had me howling thanks to Cena’s timing and axe wielding abilities.

David Dastmalchian (The Dark Knight, Prisoners, Ant-Man, Blade Runner 2049) plays Polka-Dot Man, an actual character from the comics that emits radioactive polka-dots that disintegrate anything they touch. This is one of the weirdest characters in the movie, whose backstory is a tragi-comic bit of insanity, and Dastmalchian is the perfect kind of odd to make it work.

Joel Kinnaman is an actor I’ve had a hard time getting used to all these years. No, I never saw The Killing. No reason, just never happened. Everything else I saw him in he was never anything more than adequate, so I just didn’t understand all the love. But I just recently started watching For All Mankind, his show on AppleTV about what would have happened if the space race never ended. It’s a really cool concept and Joel is really great in it. And here, he feels more loose and relaxed than ever, even nailing a few jokes. I guess I’m finally joing this Kinnaman train.

Daniela Melchior plays Ratcatcher II, and yes, she has the ability to control rats. Melchior is effortless onscreen, showcasing a natural vulnerability that keeps her from being overshadowed by this movie star filled cast.

Finally, there’s Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn. I think it’s safe to say at this point that Robbie’s casting as Quinn is up there with Heath Ledger as The Joker or Christopher Reeve as Superman. Robbie embodies the character to perfection, equal parts funny, deadly and all the way deranged. Each outing Robbie has had with this character as gotten better (I fucking LOVED Birds of Prey) and The Suicide Squad is no exception. Quinn spends a good portion of the movie on her own after she gets separated from the rest of the group fairly early on, so we get to spend some time with her while she is being courted by a wannabe dictator from Corto Maltese, where the mission takes place. In one 10 minute sequence we see Harley go through a roller coaster of emotions that ends in one of the most fun set pieces in the movie.

Oh yea, and Stallone is flat out great as King Shark, because duh.

Highlighting the cast I think is the best way to recommend The Suicide Squad, because the movie almost feels like a Hang Out movie. I mean, this whole flick is about the dynamic of this group and the laughs and theatrics that follow suit. The plot or motivations don’t really matter that much (which is sometimes the point). Thankfully, Gunn didn’t just make a mindless movie that wastes a good cast (AHEM), but rather he went with a very Comic Book type of scenario that fits this particular world perfectly.

All in all, I loved The Suicide Squad. I think the cast was aces across the board (I would really love to watch a Weasel movie) and writer/director Gunn keeps the vibe weird, unique, unexpected, and above all else, funny.

Old

Spoilers for OLD to follow.

In this house, we stan M. Night Shyamalan. The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable are stone cold classics that highlight the absolute best the filmmaker has to offer. The Village and Signs both feature exhilarating sequences that are carefully crafted by Shyamalan, and if nothing else, I think he is a severely underrated director in terms of pure craft. Has he made some bad movies? Yes, but he is also one of the only directors in Hollywood consistently putting out original, dramatic thrillers, and that alone is worth keeping him around.

OLD, the filmmakers latest, finds the director closer to Twilight Zone territory than he’s ever been, as we follow multiple families that find out that the secluded beach they are staying at is somehow forcing them to age so rapidly that it’s reducing their entire life to a single day.

Unfortunately, OLD isn’t among M. Night’s best, but it’s not among his worst either! Instead, it turns out to be very mediocre, landing somewhere in the middle of his varied filmography.

There’s a lot to like about the film. The whole cast is great. Gael Garcia Bernal and Vicky Krieps are completely believable as a the main couple who just happen to be taking their last vacation as a family before the parents separate (the idea being they tell the kids when they get home). Both go back and forth between family drama and scifi mind fuck with ease, making them ideal for the directors vision.

Shyamalan also smartly put recognizable character actors to round out the cast like Rufus Sewel (Dark City), Alex Wolf (Hereditary), Abbey Lee (The Neon Demon, Mad Max: Fury Road), Ken Luang (Lost) and newcomers Thomasin McKenzie and Aaron Pierre, all of whom fit perfectly into Shyamalan’s vibe.

The director has numerous scenes with extended single take shots. Shyamalan is no stranger to this, and here his work is reliably precise and well put together. I love the way he moves a camera, using it like a tool to ramp up suspense and tension.

He even manages to cleverly slide in some sly social commentary at multiple points in the film without ever being overbearing.

But for the life of me I just could not find it in myself to care about any of it. Despite the craftsmanship and credible performances, the story just doesn’t have much pull to it, and as a result it’s hard to care much about what happens. The whole concept of a spot on Earth that does this is definitely a cool idea, and overall I think Shyamalan nails the previously mentioned Twilight Zone vibe, but overall the movie never really gels into anything terrifying or thought provoking.

As for the infamous Shyamalan ending, it’s definitely over the top, but like the rest of the movie, it thinks it’s more shocking than it actually is. I don’t want to completely spoil it for those still wanting to check it out, but I would check your expectations in that it’s not some twist where it’s like an alternate reality or Bruce Willis has been dead the whole time or anything like that. Once last time, think Twilight Zone vibe. Still, even with proper expectations, the ending does little to save the film.

Overall, OLD is a well made but mostly lifeless thriller, but despite the films mediocrity, I can safely say I’m still team Shyamalan. Here’s hoping he nails the next one.

Black Widow

Full Disclosure: I am a very casual Marvel fan. I was raised as a DC boy, so that’s where my heart lies, but my lack of knowledge on the Marvel Universe as a whole has let me throughly enjoy and invest in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I am able to go into every new movie and every new character with a fairly blank slate, and not really care about how close or not close to the comics they are. All I want is a fun movie, and more often than not, Marvel makes fun movies. Thankfully, Black Widow is no exception.

Mild Spoilers for Black Widow to follow.

Black Widow takes place right after the events of Captain America: Civil War where the Avengers have essentially just broken up. Natasha Romanoff is hiding out when she inexplicably gets caught up with the current Black Widow program that she had long thought was shut down.

The idea of having Natasha going after the man behind the program that has ruined so many young women’s lives is a palpable one, but unfortunately nothing much comes from it, at least not emotionally. However, the movie more than makes up for it with the family dynamics of Natasha’s fake Russian spy family, featuring Florence Pugh as her sister and Rachel Weiz and David Harbour as her parents. Pugh is a recently freed Black Widow, Weiz is the engineer and planner of the group, and Harbour is the only Russian Super Soldier to ever exist.

The whole cast completely gels together, having both sincere interactions and hilariously inane and stupid arguments. Harbour easily gets the biggest and best laughs of the movie while also believably fucking some shit up from time to time. But Scarlett and Florence are the heart of the flick, with Pugh in particular standing out. She is just so present and intense and funny, often in the same scene. Her and Scarlett have a great back and forth, and I’m excited to see her pop up in the future elsewhere.

The stunt work of Black Widow is surprisingly practical. Don’t get me wrong, there is CGI out the wahzoo, but I was pleased to see real cars and motorcycles being driven and crashed, as well as real explosions and stunt people doing what they do best. OG stunts just hit different, baby. The fights are particularly gnarly here too, with Natasha both beating and being beaten harder than we’ve ever seen. There is one early fight between Natasha and her sister that had me flinching. It’s not John Wick level brutality, but for Marvel it was pretty cool.

The main physical threat here is The Task Master, the brutal lead henchman of the man behind the Black Widow Program. The Task Master has a mean as hell look to them, with a full face helmet giving a particularly cold and brutal vibe to the character. They beat the hell out of both Scarlett and Florence a few times over, making for a formidable physical challenge.

As for Scarlett, our girl kills it. She’s got this character down, and she handles the action and humor with grace and ease and really it’s nice to see her finally get her own movie, even if it’s not as emotional or cathartic for the character as it should have been.

That’s a minor quibble though, as Black Widow is a very satisfying entry into the MCU, albeit one of the more low key ones. But still, it was just nice to see a new Marvel movie again. I get it if these flicks aren’t your thing, but if they are, then you are going to have a great time with Black Widow.

F9: The Fast Saga

When it comes to The Fast & The Furious franchise, I am all in. I am in particular awe of the journey this series has taken, starting with simple street races and a little VCR thievery to actual space travel in this latest entry. The degree of reality breaking has gone up a staggering amount, and somehow I just accept it all. These movies know exactly they are, and have never for one second pretended otherwise. I love that so much. I also love how much of a soap opera it has become, with dead characters coming back to life on the regular and family secrets coming to haunt you at every corner. Quite simply, I just love this big, dumb, ridiculous franchise, and F9 is a solid entry to the ongoing Fast Saga.

Spoilers for F9 to follow.

The main plot this time around is we find out that a) Dom has a brother b) He is John Cena c) He is after a thing that can do bad things to all things so Dom and team have to stop him and d) Helen Mirren can drive too. We also get Charlize Theron doing a lot of standing and a little bit of walking here and there. Four stars.

OK really, the truth is F9 is easily a lesser entry in the franchise. Director Justin Lin, who helmed F&F 3-6, returns, but screenwriter Chris Morgan, who penned 3-8, doesn’t. It turns out Morgan’s particular insight to this ridiculously conceived world was crucial, even in the worst of entries, and as such F9 feels ever so slightly like a shadow of its formal self. The flip side to that coin is that it took 9 entries to even get a whiff of that kind of fatigue, which is rather impressive when most tend to putter out around 2 or 3 entires.

Even with Morgan gone though, director Lin has a strong enough grasp of the franchise that he keeps it all together. The return of Lin also means a renewed focus on practical stunts, and Lin makes sure to put an absurd amount of cars crashing, blowing up and being pulled through stores by magnets, all in camera baby. It’s a beautiful thing to see.

The set pieces this time around never get as absurd as I’d wish, but the magnet gag deployed throughout the film is cool and unique enough that it satisfies, if not full on impresses. Though an early moment in the film with Dom swinging his vehicle with a rope from a bridge to evade capture was bonkers.

I think what’s really missing from this entry in the sense of camaraderie amongst the characters. The idea of family has been so important and seemingly genuine throughout the series, beginning with Fast Five especially, but here it feels a bit like an afterthought. Don’t get me wrong, they mention it a lot, but it’s glossed over. And I get it, it should be understood at this point, you know? FAMILY. That’s what these guys are all about. But it just doesn’t feel as genuine here.

It doesn’t help that franchise favorite The Rock didn’t return this go round either, leaving a planet size hole of charisma that only he can fill. Everyone else is doing what they’ve been doing for years, with only Kurt Russell and the previously mentioned Mirren being the only ones seemingly having any fun.

John Cena really does try his damnedest though. Every time I see this guy on screen he is giving 110%. Unfortunately, his dynamic doesn’t fit as well as you’d think, as he makes for a pretty bland antagonist. Don’t get me wrong, I love Cena. I think he is particularly good at comedy in a way no one saw coming (he looks like a perfect fit in the upcoming The Suicide Squad), but he just doesn’t have the same intensity to match big head Diesel. But like I said, he tries his best.

Probably the most disappointing thing about F9 is its handling of the return of Han, the beloved character who supposedly died at the end of Tokyo Drift at the hands of Jason Statham. I won’t spoil the explanation, but it’s without a doubt the laziest and lamest reveal of the entire series so far. Though the post credits scene infers that they will be dealing with this situation head on in the next entry, so time will tell if this particular plot line can be redeemed.

I know it seems like I’m coming down hard on this flick, but truthfully I very much enjoyed it. I just have high expectations when it comes to these movies, and I sometimes have a bit of an issue managing those expectations, as such, I often see my opinion go from slightly lukewarm to in love with each successive viewing. I slowly fall in love with what the movie is, instead of crying for what I wanted it to be . For example, it took three viewings of The Fate of the Furious for me to accept it as the enjoyable insanity that it is (The Rock does force a torpedo into a new direction with his bare hand, after all).

What’s most important is F9 entertained me throughout. You most likely know by now if you’re into these movies or not. If you’re not, F9 will do nothing to change your mind. And if you are, F9 will do nothing to change your mind.

Army of the Dead

I like Zack Snyder. Overall I thought his DC output was thoroughly interesting and unexpected if not wholly successful (thoughts on BvS here and his Justice League here), but I was god damn delighted when it was announced that his first non DC movie in a decade was gonna be about Dave Bautista and a ragtag group of bad asses breaking into a zombie infested Las Vegas to steal a bunch of money before the town gets nuked to Kingdom Come.

Perfect. I’m all in. Totally ready for Snyder to just deliver some high priced trash directly to my brain.

Unfortunately Snyder delivers a weird, uneven and bloated zombie heist flick that highlights his own weaknesses rather than his strengths and the movie ultimately proves to be the one thing I thought Snyder didn’t know how to be; boring.

Spoilers for Army of the Dead to follow.

After a short but intense prologue showing how exactly this army of the dead got started, Snyder dives right into an exposition filled montage for the opening credits. The director’s penchant for Choices is on full display here, with odd music cues and the editing going back and forth between each character’s story and them posing with pictures of their dead loved ones. It’s weird, yes, but this is good kind of weird that Snyder excels at, and the director quickly establishes the over the top tone for this world and to his credit never strays from it either.

The plot goes as such: casino owner Bly Tanaka (Hiroyuki Sanada) wants Bautista to gather a team of mercenaries to break into his abandoned business to take back the $200 million that is sitting in the vault. Granted, Tanaka has already been reimbursed that money thanks to insurance, but like all casino owners, he wants what is his. In return, Bautista and crew can split $50 million if they get the job done.

It’s a simple enough heist premise, and with the added zombie element it really doesn’t need to get more complicated than that (and thankfully it doesn’t). All Snyder has to do is give us a crew to root for (with maybe a few people to hate as well) and show us some glorious mayhem that I know he can deliver with his eyes closed.

Unfortunately, the script (co-written by Snyder, based on his own story) gives us nothing but one note characters, and most of the unknown (at least to me) cast can’t do anything to make me care about them, and so when many of them meet their demise, the moment falls flat.

What’s worse is that Snyder takes his sweet ass time introducing all these characters and setting up plot that ultimately doesn’t matter. The movie only starts to enter Vegas about 45 minutes in, and it was clear that at least 20 minutes could have already been cut. I think this is my biggest beef with the movie. It has a final runtime of 148 minutes (!) and if Snyder had cut at least 30 minutes I think this would be a fun, fast paced, don’t think about it too much kind of heist flick. But I mean, Snyder did deliver a 4 hour cut of Justice League, so maybe that’s on me.

It’s not all bad though! Dave Bautista is great. He has been great for a while now, from his hilarious turn as Drax in the MCU to his absolutely haunting cameo in Blade Runner 2049 (I’m so stoked to see him return to play with Villeneuve in Dune). His character has the best storyline in the movie, and Bautista milks it for all its worth, delivering the emotional beats with genuine heartache. He’s also unafraid to show his age, as his badass character is constantly reaching for his reading glasses. It’s a small touch, but Bautista sells it.

Tig Notaro also stands out as the crew’s helicopter pilot. Notaro famously replaced that dipshit comedian who rightfully got cancelled and it’s an upgrade in every way. Notaro is hilarious every second they’re on screen, and I honestly hope it leads to more work outside of straight comedy roles, because Notaro fits into this ragtag ensemble like a glove.

Of course, if Garret Dillahunt is in a movie or show, the quality automatically jumps 10%. Dillahunt is one of those “That Guy” actors. He has been in so much over the last 15 years that it’s impossible to say where one might recognize him from (Deadwood? No Country for Old Men? The Assassination of Jesse James By the Coward Robert Ford? Raising Hope?). Dillahunt can play menacing, cold, funny, tough, wimpy all at the drop of a hat. Here, he is in scumbag mode, and nobody does it better.

Like Romero before him, Snyder explores the notion of a Smart Zombie in Army of the Dead, and for the most part it’s pretty cool! It’s not outright stated in the film, but the first zombie, henceforth known as Zombie Daddy, isn’t exactly a zombie. He is some kind of super undead thing. If he bites someone, they also become a super smart and fast zombie, but if anyone else bites anyone, they just become regular ol’ slow walking zombies.

But the cool thing about Zombie Daddy and his army is that apparently him and his army are getting smarter. Bautista and his mercenaries discover that they must sacrifice one of their crew in order for the smart zombies to let them into their territory. Oh and also, Zombie Daddy is actually about to become a zombie daddy, as his bride (!) is most definitely pregnant. Like I said, this stuff is pretty cool. Snyder is unafraid to get weird with the proceedings, but it also felt like he could have gone further with it, especially since Netflix apparently gives cartè blanche to its filmmakers.

The one thing that really surprises me though is how sub par the action is in Army of the Dead. Love him or hate him, I don’t think you can accuse Snyder of not knowing how to film an action scene. I mean, this is what the dude excels at. Now, the fight choreography is on point and all the actors and stunt performers do a great job, but it all feels so unexciting and kind of boring. Apparently Snyder was his own cinematographer this time around, and it seems this was one job too many for the director. The action feels so flat its shocking. Purely mediocre. What’s even worse is that the movie overall just doesn’t look very good, with weird focus and blurry images abound for reasons I can’t quite fathom. Normally I’m all about Snyder making weird choices, aesthetic or otherwise, but it simply does not work here.

I’m really not happy to write this, because I genuinely like Snyder’s work. He is a director who likes to make big choices, no matter the movie, and typically it’s worth watching even if the project isn’t entirely successful. Granted, I don’t think Army of the Dead is straight up terrible. It’s a great showcase for Bautista, who is getting better and better with each role, and Snyder does have fun with zombie lore thanks to Zombie Daddy, but overall the movie just doesn’t have anything to really get excited about. It’s weird, but not weird enough. There’s action, but it’s nothing to write home about. There are a lot of characters, but only one or two worth caring about. In the end, Army of the Dead is simply OK, and that sucks.

Mortal Kombat

Spoilers for Mortal Kombat to follow.

Like many of you, I was the perfect age for Mortal Kombat when it came out in theaters in 1995. I loved the games and was stoked for the movie, and to my 9 year old brain it was everything I wanted and more. Nostalgia does a lot of heavy lifting when I watch it now, but I also genuinely believe it’s a fun video game movie that knows exactly what it is and has plenty of fun with its ridiculous premise and characters.

So, how does Mortal Kombat’ 21 fare?

Well, let’s talk the negative first. The fight sequences aren’t as mind blowing as the trailers would have you believe, there are choices made by the filmmakers that are straight up baffling (there is one scene in particular where Sonya Blade demands to see another characters mortal kombat birth mark that’s on his chest, and when he lowers the collar of his shirt the birthmark is almost completely covered up by the shirt still. Did no one say to the actors “hey we can’t see the thing, let’s do another take”?) and most of the acting is just straight up bad. Oh, and there is no actual tournament in MK’21, just some babble about the bad guys wanting to skip to the end and claim victory over Earth.

But you know what? I really didn’t mind any of it. I wasn’t expecting something “fucking awesome” per se, and a lot of these weird choices add to the film’s overall charm (it didn’t hurt that I watched this with 5 of my very best and vaccinated friends with proper inebriates assisting). The film’s limited budget also means we get some cool practical effects and costumes, which I’m always about, but even some of the CG sequences aren’t so bad (Sub-Zero’s ice knife looks legit and cool AF). MK’21 also moves at a brisk ass pace, forcing the viewer to just go along with the silliness instead of thinking about it too much. High class low rent filmmaking at its best really. Also, every time the movie sneaks in classic video game lines like “Flawless Victory!” or ”Kano Wins!” the results are laugh out loud great. Oh, and the gore is quite good.

“I get it, Jordan! It’s so bad it’s good!” No. I don’t really like that way of thinking when it comes to movies. Ridiculous is a better word for it, I think, which to me is most definitely a compliment.

So we have a Mortal Kombat movie with no mortal kombat tournament, fight sequences that leave a lot to be desired, and some genuinely questionable filmmaking choices. But shit, I just can’t be mad at this movie though. I had fun! I had a lot of fun, and truthfully, what the hell else do you want from a movie called Mortal Kombat?

Godzilla vs. Kong

Spoilers for Godzilla vs. Kong to follow.

Full disclosure: Godzilla vs. Kong is a movie that is very much My Shit. I unabashedly love these Monsterverse movies for the most part (I’m pretty soft on Kong: Skull Island as a whole, but not Kong as a character) and director Adam Wingard (The Guest, You’re Next) has delivered a brightly colored, fast paced and completely ludicrous Monster Royale that I’ll be playing on repeat for years to come.

The plot goes as such; Godzilla is targeting what was thought to be good guys, so the world thinks he is a threat now (blasphemy) and the race is on to get Kong into Hollow Earth (what’s that you ask? Shut up.) before him and Godzilla rumble to see who is the supreme Titan.

OK, so I’m being a little facetious with that plot description, but that’s because the plot doesn’t really matter. This movie is about Big Ape and Big Lizard fighting. BUT, director Wingard isn’t asking you to just turn off your brain and watch. He wants you to go with the flow obviously, but he is also legitimately trying to engage you with these two iconic characters. He treats both with the proper respect and awe.

I’m a Godzilla boy through and through, but Wingard goes out of his way to get us to root for Kong. Giving the giant monkey an adorable deaf child to be best friends with certainly helps with that, but honestly he feels fully developed as a character here. Anytime he is chained up or being lied to I was full on UPSET. And then Wingard reveals that he is basically modeling the King after 80s action anti-heroes complete with Die Hard and Lethal Weapon 2 references for the character, both of which whip an unholy amount of ass. So yea, I was invested. Ok but seriously, Wingard knows what kind of movie he is making, but instead of making a lifeless blockbuster with zero connection to the titled characters that he could have easily made (and most of us would have probably been perfectly OK with), he actually makes us root for the Titans.

Visually speaking, this is easily the coolest looking of the four Monsterverse movies. Wingard uses tons of neon lighting throughout the film, something I am personally very on board with as an aesthetic. The big fight in Hong Kong is one of the prettiest displays of destruction I’ve ever seen. Wingard and company shoot every fight with clarity and brightness (most of the action takes place during the day) and I cannot overstate how welcome this is.

As for the humans? They’re there. They’re fine. I must admit I don’t get annoyed with the human characters in these films as some people do. I totally get that these movies tend to come to a halt when the monsters aren’t on screen, but I am personally OK with watching Alexander Skarsgård, Millie Bobby Brown, Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry and Kyle Chandler help us pass the time between monster fights, no matter how little sense they’re making. Yes, I am very forgiving in this aspect, I know. But I just don’t get the point of being mad about the human character development when the filmmakers got Godzilla and Kong SO right. But hey, that’s me!

I haven’t said too much about Godzilla yet obviously, and while Kong does get the majority of screen time out of the two, Wingard makes sure our favorite prehistoric Daddy gets his proper respect. I’m honestly trying not to give away some the film’s surprises (even though marketing has spoiled plenty) but suffice to say that things aren’t as they seem at first and Big G brings the pain when the time comes.

The film moves at a breakneck pace (both Titans show up within the first 10-15 minutes) and really doesn’t let up until the final bout, which also helps with any plot concerns or confusing character motivation. Wingard gets in and gets out and the film is better for it.

Overall, I LOVED Godzilla vs. Kong. A perfect monster movie filled with insane visuals and even weirder ideas. I only wish I could have seen it for the first time on a big ass movie screen, but even in the safety of my home this movie rips.

Zack Snyder’s justice league

It’s tough to say how I would have felt if this was the version of Justice League we got right after Batman v Superman. This is how I felt about BvS when it originally came out in 2016. In the years since I’ve come to terms with the film that I got instead of pining over the movie I wanted. This seems to be a trend I have with all Snyder’s DC superhero output. Yes, I like his director’s cut of Watchmen, but it took me multiple viewings to get there. Yes, I love Man of Steel, warts and all. And as I said, I accept BvS for what it is, an ambitious failure that happens to include an A+ Batman performance from my man Ben Affleck.

And now, after four years and endless noise from internet idiots, we can finally see how Snyder would have capped it all off with Zack Snyder’s Justice League.

Spoilers for Zack Snyder’s Justice League to follow.

Having watched the movie twice now, I can say with confidence that this film is, top to bottom, the best of the Snyder trilogy. ZSJL is filled with hope, heartache and humor (that doesn’t betray the tone). Snyder corrects a lot of wrongs in his depiction of both Batman and Superman here, and both actors portraying them excel because of it. The Flash and Cyborg both get extended sub plots that better flesh out their characters respectively. Aquaman’s motivations and worries are a little more clear here than the theatrical cut and Wonder Woman is at her most hardcore, killin’ dudes in front of kids and chopping off heads like it’s just another day on the job. Honestly, the movie just makes a lot more sense too. We finally understand just what the hell Steppenwolf was doing and why (though it’s tough to say if we should still care or not though) and there is a clear through line as to what was to come. In short, I loved Zack Snyder’s Justice League despite itself.

First and foremost, four hours and two minutes is too long. To be fair, it goes by fairly quickly (Snyder’s choice to break the film into 6 parts helps), but it’s very obvious that at least an hour could have been cut out at the very minimum. Not entire scenes mind you, just bits and pieces that add up. The over length has a numbing effect on the films rather exciting ending, but more importantly, it takes too damn long to get to Superman.

I was very curious to see how Snyder would treat the Man of Steel here after making him such a Negative Nancy in BvS, and I am very happy to report that even with his limited screen time, Snyder let Cavill bring that calm confidence and leadership to the character that he showed signs of in Man of Steel. The film treats Superman with a sense of awe and wonder befitting the character (even if it’s a little unearned by Snyder). But still, it takes almost 2.5 hours for the film to resurrect him and the film suffers for it. Granted, I’m sure Snyder wanted Superman’s absence to be felt so his return was more impactful, and perhaps a shorter runtime could have yielded better results, but in the end the movie suffers from its lack of Superman.

As I mentioned, Cyborg and The Flash both benefit from more screen time here, with Cyborg quietly becoming the heart of the entire movie. Early in the film, as he is testing out his newly learned internet superpowers, he slips $100,000 into the bank account of a hardworking, single mom of two who just got evicted. It’s probably the most heroic act of the whole movie and Ray Fisher has a natural intensity that suits the character well.

Now this is the part where I must admit that I don’t love Ezra Miller as Barry Allen, though I can’t deny he is much less grating here than he was in the theatrical cut. I love Miller as an actor (his performance in We Need To Talk About Kevin is an all time creeper), and I’m willing to give him a fresh chance with his solo flick, but for now I’m just not sold yet.

Once again, Ben Affleck steals the show. His Batman is no longer operating out of spite or hatred, but rather that of hope. Hope that he can bring this league together, hope that they can stop what’s coming. Affleck gives us even more reason to be depressed that his solo Batflick will never come to life, as he embodies the perfect leadership and charisma to lead these iconic characters.

But it’s this sense of hope that stands out, not just in Batman but throughout the entire movie. Snyder seems to have finally figured out that that’s what makes these characters so endearing. No matter how dark Batman can get as a character he is still a hero after all. The same goes for Superman obviously and Snyder finally understands that a positive and hopeful Superman is the best Superman.

It should also be noted of course that Gal Gadot is once again bringing her all to Wonder Woman, but that character had the benefit of an actual good movie prior to this, so I can’t give too much credit to Snyder on that front. Same goes for Aquaman. Momoa is great here and his character has some great moments, but Snyder’s handling of Atlantis and its supporting characters pales in comparison to what James Wan did with Aquaman’s solo flick, so again, can’t give too much credit to ZSJL there.

Being a Zack Snyder film, Snyder is gonna Snyder, and this is no exception. The film is filled with questionable needle drops and overly long slow mo sequences, but that’s also part of Snyder’s appeal too. He always, always makes HIS movie. He always swings for the fences (and more often than not fails to reach them) and I just cannot deny that I love watching him try. Even a resounding failure like BvS is infinitely more interesting than almost anything included in the theatrical cut of Justice League. And to be fair, the slo mo sequence of Barry rescuing Iris West mid car crash is a beaut. But still, Snyder makes choices and takes chances that no one else would and for that I will always be curious to see what he’s got up his sleeve.

It’s a minor miracle that this movie got to see the light of day, and while I’m not exactly happy with the way the fanbase went about yelling for it, I am truly grateful that we got to see it. Batman and Superman and the actors playing them are better served here, and even though the overlong runtime squashes a good deal of the momentum, the film successfully makes for an emotional and entertaining introduction to the Justice League. Even if we can’t see where things would go from here, at least we got to see how it started.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of justice

As you may or may not be aware, Zack Snyder’s Justice League is premiering on HBO MAX in just a few days. I’ll be watching it this weekend and have a write up for you sometime next week, but I thought it would be interesting to look back on my review of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.

After 5 years and multiple viewings I’ve been able to come to terms with what I do and do not like about not only this movie but the Snyder-verse as a whole, and trust me, there is plenty of each to go around. But revisiting this review, I was surprised at how I was able to so quickly accept it for what it was. Yes, the disappointment was fresh, and yes they had Batman killing people (which even the most basic fans know is a catastrophic misunderstanding of the character) but I was clearly more upset about how the movie does Superman dirty worse than Batman.

Anyway, the point is, I think it’s important to revisit this launching pad for Zack Snyder’s Justice League, and this review I wrote at the time of its release still rings true about my feelings today. And yes, that means that I still love Affleck as The Bat, and no, I’ll never get over the fact that he didn’t get to direct his own Batman picture.

So without further ado, here are my thoughts from 2016 about BvS. I’ll be back next week with what’s sure to be a big ol’ rant about Justice League.

---

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a frustrating experience. A reaction to both the criticism Man of Steel received for its collateral damage and the rise of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. A hail mary attempt to keep the DC Cinematic Universe in play, and while my boy Ben Affleck kills it (and many others) in his debut as The Batman, BvS proves to be a shining example of how not to do it.

Batman is my favorite superhero. Period. The world's greatest detective (suck it, Sherlock) is able to outsmart anyone and anything. He's a fascinating character for a filmmaker to explore, and as a film fan I feel lucky to have so many great adaptations of him. And again, Affleck does a great job, but why oh why can't they figure out Superman as well as they did 40 years ago?

Overall, I liked what Zack Snyder did with Man of Steel. I think Kevin Costner’s casting as Jonathon Kent was a stroke of genius, but the way they kill him was one of many misunderstandings about Superman the filmmaker had about the character. In just about every other iteration, Pa Kent dies of a heart attack, something that not even Superman can prevent. "All those powers.." says a young Clark in 1978's Superman: The Movie. It's the moment that drives Superman to want to save as many lives as he can. To live up to his adoptive fathers wish of becoming the man he knew he could be. But in Man of Steel, Jonathon instills a mistrust in humanity to his son. "My father believed the world wasn't ready", and following his fathers wishes, Clark lets him die in a tornado because he believes humans can't take it.

Points, I suppose, for trying a different take. It certainly lends an extra feeling of isolation for this alien, but it just doesn't work. Kal-El is born a hero. He doesn't learn it.

But that's the take we got. I think Henry Cavill is great in the role, and with the right script I think this guy could absolutely crush it. I still don't know how to feel about Superman killing Zod, but it certainly seemed that in the sequel he would be haunted by the action, and would do everything in his power to never do it again. I thought it was a good springboard for the next film, and a great opportunity to right some wrongs.

Oof.

Aside from Batman killing a ton of people (more on that later), BvS has no idea what to do with Superman. The future leader of the League the studio so desperately wants to set up, and they can't even repeat what they've already gotten right before.

Here, Kal-El is obsessed with his public opinion rating. There are some good ideas at play about how humanity would react to a literal God coming to Earth, and in Man of Steel, Superman deals with the military in a very Superman way. He basically says, "Hey, I'm a good guy. Lets be cool with each other". But in BvS, he becomes overly mopey about how people don't like him. He even goes on sabbatical at one point because he is so sad.

What a goof.

He often becomes angry at the drop of a hat (yes, I get Lex kidnaps his mother, but he has like, super hearing and X-ray vision and the power of flight and stuff) and his obsession with The Batman just doesn't really make sense. As Clark Kent the reporter, I get why he is so interested in a vigilante, but why he, as Superman, would actually interrupt the Caped Crusader in the middle of apprehending criminals to crash his batmobile to say "Hey stop, stop it" is beyond me.

It's a huge bummer because Superman is just as fascinating a character as Batman. To have someone who is so heroic, so bright in the darkest of times is inspiring, and could and should be a great contrast to Batman. But in BvS, Superman is more downbeat and depressing than anyone. Even with his ultimate sacrifice (which could have been avoided if he just gave the kryptonite spear to Wonder Woman, who clearly was capable of taking a hit or two from Doomsday) it never feels like Superman is the hero I grew up with.

I hear the term "studio interference" far too often from fans and viewers when complaining about blockbusters and superhero movies. I have no doubt that it exists, but I feel that more often than not, things just didn't work out with whatever movie. Maybe they were working against a release date, or maybe they just couldn't figure it out. But with BvS, it feels like Warner Bros. was desperate, which wasn't the case with Man of Steel. Any issue I have with MoS was because of a deliberate storytelling choice, but with BvS, it seems Snyder had to succumb to notes and notes of what to follow. To make sure X and Y were included.

I like Snyder, I feel I should say. I think given the freedom and time he could make a good Superman movie. But this apparently wasn't it. And if the rest of the DCCU is to follow the course that has been set with BvS, then I'm not sure I want this guy involved anymore.

So that's the bad, how about the good?

As I mentioned, my boy Affleck kills it as Bruce Wayne/Batman. I love seeing an older, angrier Batman onscreen. Unlike Superman, Batman's motivation in BvS is clear. He is scared by the appearance of super humans, and I completely bought into the fact that he would react with great fear and motivation, and the arc that follows is completely organic, eventually becoming the one urging for the formation of a league to be ready for whatever comes next.

It's a great performance and I think given the right script Affleck could become the ultimate onscreen Batman.

Let's just hope he isn't as willing to kill in the future.

*Throws hands up in the air* Look, maybe it's because BvS gets Superman so wrong that I'm not more bothered that they got Batman just as wrong. I mean, it is upsetting that they have Bruce Wayne repeatedly committing the act of murder that inspired him to become a vigilante to stop all acts of murder, but you know, whatever.

And if you were really reaching, you could argue that you never actually see him kill anyone, all the goons he blows up with his batmobile grenades have some sort of non lethal element to them, or that the guy with the flame thrower was just severely burned never to fully recover. (But he killed them). Oh, and as a friend pointed out, his entire plan hinges on premeditated murder.

Again, maybe it's because I've been so fortunate enough as a fan to have the Nolan Batfilms that I'm not as upset about how wrong they got Batman. Or maybe it's because Affleck is so good. The fact is I'm more upset that they got Superman so wrong.


I forgot I was talking about the good for a second. That includes Wonder Woman. Her appearance is all too brief (WITH ZERO INTERACTION WITH SUPERMAN), but it's extremely memorable and Gal Gadot will surely kill it with her solo film. Even her theme stands out as highlight of the movie.

As a setup film, it's mildly successful. We get glimpses of The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg. It's neat, but only time will tell how these characters will actually work together onscreen. I hate to bring up the comparison, but Marvel cast its Avengers expertly, and we had a chance to get to know each character with their own film, allowing us to get at least an idea of how they would react to each other once united. As of now, we are almost completely blind going into Justice League.

It's a risk, and based on BvS, I'm not 100% sure it will pay off.

Superman: The Movie

I don’t remember the first time I saw Superman: The Movie. As far as I can tell, it’s just always been there in my life, existing as one of my favorite movies of all time. Between seeing this and Tim Burton’s Batman as a kid, my love for superheroes was forever cemented in my manboy brain, but Superman: The Movie, and more specifically Christopher Reeve’s performance, to this day stands tall as the best on screen version of Superman, and my personal favorite interpretation of the character.

Spoilers for Superman: The Movie to follow.

The movie opens with a child’s voiceover detailing the heroic reputation of The Daily Planet during the Great Depression. ”A great metropolitan newspaper whose reputation for clarity and truth had become a symbol of hope for the entire community!” By using a child’s simple yet accurate description, director Richard Donner (Lethal Weapon, The Goonies) deftly establishes the films themes of truth, justice and hope within seconds, and then immediately throws us into the opening credits sequence that is led by John Williams now iconic score. It’s a joyous opening for a film that is already brimming with positive vibes.

Donner then takes us through the destruction of Krypton, Kal-El crash landing on Earth and learning important lessons from his adoptive parents, Jonathon and Martha Kent, and then his arrival in 1970s Metropolis as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter. Donner perfectly captures the Man of Steel’s origins in this first act. The Krypton sequence alone is a beautifully realized tragedy, filmed with gorgeous miniatures and other various old school effect tricks that live within the film. The practical effects add a sense of wonder and awe to the planet’s destruction; it feels like a real, living environment instead of CGI backgrounds.

Marlon Brando pops up for a few minutes in this section as Jor-El, father to Kal-El AKA Superman. Despite the actors notorious diva like behavior behind the scenes, his presence no doubt adds gravitas to this comic book world (this film was one of the first, if not THE first, comic book movies to truly be taken seriously by Hollywood).

But for me, the movie really begins to take flight (!) when we see Kal-El, now known as Clark, in his high school years in Smallville. This sequence only lasts maybe 5 minutes, but it’s the most poignant in the whole movie. Clark, frustrated that he can’t use his abilities in sports to make high school bully Brad shut the hell up, gets a pep talk from his adoptive father. Clark asks, “Is it showing off if a person is doing the things he’s capable of doing? Is a bird showing off if it flies?” It’s a question that any teenager chomping at the bit to be an adult and do all the things they want to do would ask. Pa Kent responds with, “No, no. Now, you listen to me. When you first came to us, we thought people would come and take you away because, when they found out, you know, the things you could do... and that worried us a lot. But then a man gets older, and he starts thinking differently and things get very clear. And one thing I do know, son, and that is you are here for a *reason*. I don't know whose reason, or whatever the reason is... Maybe it's because... uh... I don't know. But I do know one thing. It's *not* to score touchdowns. Huh?” After this quality exchange, the father and son then share a nice moment before Clark challenges his Dad to a race as Clark takes off running to the barn and Jonathan follows, only to collapse seconds later of a heart attack.

This is the biggest chunk of screen time legendary actor Glenn Ford has in the movie, but he nails this short monologue so hard and so well that we don’t need anymore time with him to understand the impact he has on the Man of Steel. Once again, Donner is gliding through this origin with skill and efficiency, milking each moment for all that it’s worth.

After the funeral, Clark begins his journey of self discovery and the creation of the Fortress of Solitude, a smaller version of Krypton right here on Earth made from crystals that Jor-El sent with Kal-El on his journey to this planet. Included is an A.I. version of Jor-El that will help Superman learn not only about his history but the human race as well. It’s an incredible sequence that glosses over years of lessons between the two, one of which is that Jor-El spends an entire year teaching his son about the complexities of the human heart. This is one of my absolute favorite tidbits in the movie, as it explains the empathy, understanding and care Christopher Reeve’s Superman has for his adoptive planet and its people.

Reeve’s performance echoes those teachings every second he’s on screen, whether it’s as Clark or Superman. I think that’s a big reason why this performance has endured as long as it has; Reeve shows us that this all powerful God who can easily take the world as his throne instead CHOOSES empathy. He decides to show the human race what genuine goodness is in hopes of inspiring others to do the same. It’s something so simple yet it feels utterly profound to me, especially since we’re living in a reality where it’s abundantly clear that people don’t want to help or care for others, especially if it’s inconvenient for them.

For me, the Boy Scout quality of Superman is part of what makes him so endearing and inspiring, and Reeve brings that to life in a way only he could. I love watching him help people, whether it’s stopping crime or grabbing a cat out of a tree, I love it. Watching him in this role digs up my inner optimist, something I didn’t think was possible after the hell scape the past year has been.

It should also be mentioned that the rest of the cast is equally entertaining to watch. Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor is one of Hackman’s funniest performances. Margot Kidder is THE perfect Lois Lane (and her chemistry with Reeve is the real fucking deal) and of course Ned Beatty, Valerie Perrine, Jackie Cooper and Marc McClure are all note perfect.

The film as a whole, however, is not. The much maligned ending has Superman rewinding time so he can save Lois Lane, who died after he failed to rescue her in time. It’s a choice that strips away the stakes the film had been setting up this entire time and more than anything I just find it to be very lame, especially for a movie that is anything but.

At this point though I’ve long come to terms with the ending, and thankfully the rest of the movie is so good it almost doesn’t matter anyway. Besides, this movie gave us Christopher Reeve’s Superman, and in the end that’s all that matters.

Is Die Hard A Christmas Movie? I Don’t Care.

Die Hard is, first and foremost, a masterpiece. An iconic action movie that created it's own sub genre. "Die Hard" on a bus. "Die Hard" on a boat. "Die Hard" on a plane. The movie even gave birth to Bruce Willis: Action Star. Die Hard is one of the most popular movies of all time, and with good reason. 

Do I think it's a Christmas movie? 

Truthfully, I really don't care. I'd rather just talk about how good Die Hard is. The "Is it a Christmas movie?" argument just seems to be an excuse to watch Die Hard during the holidays when in reality you don't ever need an excuse to watch Die Hard. Just watch Die Hard. 

So this is my plea. Let's just make it the norm that Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Let's all accept it and move on. And while we're at it, lets start talking about other great Christmas Action Movies. 

Spoilers for The Long Kiss Goodnight, Die Hard 2 and Lethal Weapon to follow. 

THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT

The Long Kiss Goodnight is a god damn delight of a film. Written by Shane Black (famous for setting most of his movies at Christmas, as he does here) and directed by Renny Harlin, the movie stars Geena Davis as an amnesiac who washed up on a beach two months pregnant with no memories. 8 years later, she starts to reclaim some of her memory after a car accident. Samuel L. Jackson is the private eye by her side as she discovers she used to be a covert government assassin. The rest is, as they say, *Chefs Kiss*. This movie is the perfect example of 90s action movie excess. Squibs, explosions, car wrecks, the works. Harlin is a very efficient action director, and he imbues all his movies with a small sense of audacity. It makes for a great pairing with writer Black, whose love for pulp shines here. Davis also proves she was an undervalued action star and Jackson gives one of his funniest performances. Do yourself a favor and give this flick a visit if you haven't, (or a revisit if you have). 

DIE HARD 2: DIE HARDER

Ah, yes, Die Hard 2. I feel like people forget that it also takes place on Christmas. I personally think this sequel does a better job of capturing the holiday spirit than the first movie. Airports, In-laws, trying to talk your way out of a ticket with a disgruntled traffic cop and failing miserably. All of these perfectly capture a typical American Christmas, and that's just the opening scene. 

Of course, the first movie is better in every way, but Die Hard 2 is still a gem on its own. The film is a perfectly cliched action sequel, firmly following the motto of "more action, more violence and more one liners" from star Bruce Willis. In fact, Willis is still completely engaged, and probably the main reason why the movie works as well as it does. The movie gets absurd and overblown pretty quickly (a sharp left turn from the first films somewhat grounded, more character driven nature) but thanks to the goodwill from Die Hard, and Willis' game performance, you can't help but still root for the guy. 

Renny Harlin also directed this action sequel, a full 6 years before The Long Kiss Goodnight. Harlin is the perfect fit for this kind of perfectly absurd and entertaining action and between this, TLKG, and Cliffhanger, the director cemented his status as a 90s action king. 

LETHAL WEAPON

Thanks to an absolutely insane and committed performance by Mel Gibson, the chemistry with his co-lead Danny Glover (who is equally good) and the pairing of writer Shane Black and director Richard Donner (Superman '78, The Goonies), Lethal Weapon is second only to Die Hard in regards to Christmas Action Movies, at least in my humble opinion. 

Gibson and Glover star as Riggs and Murtaugh. a pair of mismatched cops working their way through a high profile drug case. I know that doesn't sound like anything special plot wise, but Black and Donner make up for it with plenty of character development for both leads.

Riggs is a former special forces hotshot who now has a serious death wish ever since his wife was killed in a car accident a few months prior. One scene where Riggs contemplates suicide is a legit gut punch, as he comes *this close* to shooting himself in the head. It's a startlingly real moment, and Gibson manages to make the titular lethal weapon seem human in one fell swoop. 

The filmmakers also go out of there way to give us plenty of time with Murtaugh's family, especially in an extended sequence where Riggs joins his partner's family for dinner. Not only is the scene perfectly funny and endearing (we get to see Murtaugh as the excellent father and husband that he is), but it also helps the stakes feel real and urgent when Murtaugh's oldest daughter is kidnapped by the bad guys later in the film. 

Lethal Weapon is one of the absolute best action movies of the 80s (the rest of the franchise is also ridiculously entertaining), and you would be doing yourself a favor to put this into your annual viewing schedule. 

Now, these are only three of the many, many other Christmas Action Movies you could watch/talk about this year. There is also Batman Returns, Enemy of the State, and if you're sick you'll put on Reindeer Games (I kid, you know I love my boy Affleck). And hell, you could put on just about any movie that Shane Black has written and/or directed and you'd be enjoying a perfectly appropriate holiday classic. 

So go now, be free of your burden and watch whatever Christmas Action Movie that you hold dear, and for the love of all that is Holy, please stop asking "Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?". The world will be better for it. 

Can’t Find The Thoughts

I have had a severe case of "I just don't wanna" this past week. Almost every night I've sat down and tried to get thoughts down on werewolf movies, spooky movies, the comfort both genres brought me and things like that, but every night I just couldn't come up with anything I liked. I realized this was also the first time I was ever really trying to write about horror, at least specifically. I thought it would be fun and interesting to dig deep into why I love the genre and all its sub-genre's so much. But when I actually sat down and tried to think about it, I just went blank. 

And then I watched The Devil All the Time with Tom Holland and Robert Pattinson (and a whole lot of other awesome talent peppered throughout) and I fucking adored Pattinson in it. Everyone is good, and I enjoyed the film overall, but it's clear at this point that R. Patz is definitely trying to weird you out. His two faced, abusive, southern preacher character was the highlight of the movie for me. The actor adopts a high pitched southern drawl, and it's legitimately skin crawling. Anyway, point being, I was immediately eager to write about this performance and how quickly Pattinson is climbing the ladder of Actors with Silly Accents (Tom Hardy watch out), but I couldn't help asking myself why I couldn't write about one of my absolute favorite genres of film?

It's especially frustrating because I have by no means stopped watching horror. I've watched Bliss, The Frighteners, Annihilation,  Tales From the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight, The People Under the Stairs, Urban Legend, Urban Legend: Final Cut , House of Wax (remake), and Night of the Demons. I loved watching all of the these movies in some way shape or form, even the worst (Final Cut) was mildly entertaining due to my love for any and all slashers. But nope, I didn't have one damn word to say about any of them. So I decided to ask myself another question. 

Why do I love horror?

I love horror because it acts as a catharsis for me as I face my deepest and darkest fears through entertainment, and to talk about that means I have to talk about myself. 

*SIGH*

This is bullshit. 

Given that you are a human person reading this right now, I have a sneaking suspicion that you can relate to the general fears and stress I'm dealing with right at this particular moment in time. America is a trash pile that's on fire, stinking up the rest of the world and who knows if and when things will get better (sorry for the pessimism). So yes, it's fun to watch movies like The Ranger, where a group of teen punks go head to head with a murderous cop, er, I mean, park ranger. Do I really need to explain why?

Anyway, horror is still a great release for me, especially this year. I'm going to continue to watch spooky movies and I'll continue coming here and yelling at you guys about them. I just really needed to get this out of my system. 

This little self examination has been fun, and it honestly helped me get passed whatever wall I was hitting writing wise. 

I was actually thinking about talking a little bit about Alien: Isolation, the video game. It's super spooky, and after watching the original Alien, which the game follows, it's clear how much detail went into recreating the look of the ship design and overall sense of dread from the film. 

Or maybe not. Who knows? Either way, I'll be back soon. 

Mission: Impossible-Fallout

Welcome back my dreamers. I've had a lot of fun with my Thoughts on Things columns and have realized those are going to be a very regular thing. However, there is still business to be dealt with. Cruise Control starts now. 

Mission: Impossible- Rogue Nation was another hit for the franchise, and became my personal favorite entry (thus far at least). Rogue Nation director Christopher McQuarrie returned for Fallout, a first for the series, and that consistency allows for a natural step up in every way for the movie. Everything from scope, emotion and of course stunts. Mission: Impossible- Fallout is one of the greatest action blockbusters ever made. 

Spoilers for Mission: Impossible- Fallout to follow. 

The movie opens with Ethan Hunt, played by our guy, with his ex wife Julia, once again played by Michelle Monaghan. The two are getting remarried, exchanging vows somewhere secluded and beautiful, with only the pastor to accompany them. Unfortunately he turns out to be the villain from the previous entry, Rogue Nation.

Then everything blows up. 

Turns out it was a dream. And THEN the movie starts. 

By bringing back Julia, even in just a dream sequence, McQuarrie creates a since of history and also regret. Ethan had to divorce Julia in order to keep doing his job, forcing her to uproot her life and go into witness protection, and by reminding Ethan and the audience of that fact, Fallout becomes a much more emotional film than previous entries, and carries a little more heft to the proceedings. 

There is one scene in particular where while undercover, Ethan imagines a plan being explained to him by the bad guys that leaves no witnesses, innocent or not. It forces Ethan's hand, and he deviates, snatching the package for himself and his team. The package of course, being Solomon Lane, the villain from Rogue Nation who popped up in the dream sequence at the beginning of the film. 

His reappearance also amplifies the regret felt in Fallout. If Ethan had just killed Lane, as Lane wanted to do to Ethan, the events in Fallout wouldn't be happening. They'd probably just be on some other random mission. But McQuarrie wants the choices Ethan has to make have weight and consequences. And so, because Ethan couldn't kill Lane, and because he couldn't sacrifice his teammate even for the plutonium early in the film, he sets off a chain of events that directly lead to the endangerment of his ex-wife, Julia, in the films climax. 

Tom is as good as ever here. His Ethan is weary, no doubt, but still able and determined, and has very much lost all patience for bureaucratic bullshit. Ethan rarely listens to his bosses anymore, but he's also always right, so there. It's insane that Tom is able to handle himself so well for his age. The dude is believable in every action scene, even somehow convincing us he could kick Henry Cavill's ass (more on him shortly). 

The big stunt this time around was a one take skydiving sequence that is masterful. McQuarrie has quickly become one of my favorite action directors, and him and Tom seem to have a real shorthand going and I'm excited to see what else they come up with together, both within the franchise and without. 

Once again, the team is a highlight. Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson and Alec Baldwin return and all contribute in various ways, with Ferugson's Ilsa being a franchise standout. 

Oh yea, and fucking Superman is in this movie. Henry Cavill is just a big ol' bag of blunt force trauma here. His physicality is a momentous (fucking Superman) and his fight scene in the bathroom proves that he is indeed the hammer that his boss Angela Bassett says he is. I've long been a fan of Cavill (The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is an underrated gem), i think he makes for a great Superman (even if he hasn't had a capital G great movie yet), and it's clear he's having a blast playing a villain here. It's almost a shame he dies at the end, as I would have loved to see him in further installments. 

But alas, the good guys have to win. 

The movie is flat out one of the best action movies ever produced, and I cannot wait to see what else the filmmakers have in store with the presumably final two installments.  

Mission: Impossible-Fallout was a critical and box office smash, grossing $220 million domestically and $791 million worldwide, becoming the franchises' highest grossing entry and Tom's biggest worldwide hit ever (War of the Worlds still holds the crown domestically with $234 million).  

I had an absolute blast going through this franchise again. I know I said Cruise Control is concluding (alliteration!), but let's be real, Cruise Control never ends. We're coming up on spooky season and I can absolutely see myself watching and writing about Interview with the Vampire. 

As for what's next, more Thoughts on Things of course, otherwise all I know is I'm gonna lean hard on horror for the entirety of September and October because you can't tell me how to live my life. 

Until next time, 

Rober Jordan Hunt. 

Mission: Impossible-Rogue Nation

Previously, on Cruise Control...

Ghost Protocol rejuvenated both the franchise and the star's career, with the movie becoming Cruise's biggest worldwide hit ever at the time. 

Truthfully, Cruise's star power never really wained elsewhere around the globe, a fact that helped carry some of his disappointing domestic releases into profitability in the years that followed like Oblivion and Edge of Tomorrow (the latter being one of my absolute favorite movies of the last 10 years). 

Cruise also didn't really stray from Tom Cruise: Action Star either (I mean, he did Rock of Ages, but you know, whatever). The positive reaction to his Dubai stunt sealed the deal for the star. As far as he was concerned, this is what the audience wanted to see from him. 

Spoilers for Mission: Impossible-Rogue Nation to follow. 

For the next installment, Cruise chose director Christopher McQuarrie, whom the star had just worked with on Jack Reacher (a pulpy and entertaining as hell action flick that I will one day write about, I promise). Rogue Nation would only be his third movie as a director, but the filmmaker elevates the series to new heights, ultimately shaping the legacy of the franchise thus far between this and Fallout. 

Right off the bat, the movie throws a sequence where Tom's character, Ethan, is hanging off the side of a plane as it takes off. And yes, Tom actually does this. It's THE crazy stunt for this installment, and it's definitely bonkers. But like Ghost Protocol before it, the scene surrounding the big stunt is exciting and light hearted, and even scores a lot of well earned laughs throughout the sequence. Five movies in and it finally felt like the franchise had found its footing. 

McQuarrie full on delivers an action masterpiece, with the car/motorcycle chase that occurs AFTER Ethan is brought back from the dead is one of the most thrilling sequences in any modern blockbuster. Ilsa Faust, played by the incredible Rebecca Ferguson, is by far the strongest female character the series as had, if not the best character period. Even the sense of family among the team is stronger here. 

I believe that's because Rogue Nation really embraces the history of these movies and the character of Ethan Hunt. Hunt feels mythic here. After the opening sequence, a young agent tells Ethan "I've the stories about you", and asks if they're true. Cruise just smiles. It's a great exchange, and a nice meta moment to boot. But the fact that this film acknowledges the others adds a sense of history. This is the third film with this core team now, and they're mainly on this mission just to help each other. Those relationships add weight to the proceedings, and even an extra bit of urgency when someone is in danger. All of these little parts that keep adding up and adding up. All the separate sequences and set pieces ( I haven't even talked about the incredible opera sequence!) just complete and compliments the whole. It's clear that McQuarrie knows exactly what he is doing. As a matter of fact, he became the only director to helm more than one installment.  

As for Tom, he's great of course. At this point he is finally starting to show his age just a bit, which solidifies the sense of history with this movie that I mentioned earlier.  Aside from showing a bit of weariness, Tom also scores a number of big laughs, often with a subtle smile or facial expression. Cruise also makes it very apparent that Ethan is all about saving innocent lives. Not that the other films said he didn't. But in the first installment, Ethan is mostly out to clear his name. In the second, he's trying to stop a deadly virus from getting out, sure, but he's mainly doing it for a girl. Which is actually the same as the third now that I think about it. However, in Ghost Protocol, it's all about saving the actual world. Rogue Nation builds on that, showcasing Ethan often saving individual lives as he also fights to save us all. It really builds Ethan as the ultimate hero, and you know what? It fucking works. 

Mission: Impossible-Rogue Nation opened in July of 2015 to enthusiastic reviews and a $55 million opening weekend. The film would end up with $195 million domestically and $682 million worldwide, both totals just a hair under Ghost Protocol from 4 years earlier. And yes, those numbers are very, very good. The fact that a 20 year old, five movie franchise was just hitting its stride was pretty damn cool. 

Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol

Financially speaking, there was little financial incentive to make a fourth Mission: Impossible. The third entry had been a huge disappointment, clouded by Tom's controversial ties to scientology and some truly weird behavior. Even Cruise's longstanding relationship to Paramount Pictures,  the studio that funded his flagship franchise, as well as most of his biggest hits from the 80s and 90s, took a hit. Despite a small win in 2010 with Ben Stiller's hit ensemble comedy Tropic Thunder, Tom struggled struggled to find a hit over the next five years. So the fact that Ghost Protocol exists is at least a little surprising. 

But the fact of the matter is, Tom wanted a do over. He wanted to earn the trust of his audience again. He was determined to put it all out there for the sake of entertainment. And thus he seemingly willed to life Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol from the nothing and made it so. And the movie is fucking great. Exceptionally well made by first time live action director Brad Bird (The Incredibles, The Iron Giant), Ghost-Protocol is a good as fuck spy action/adventure, and in many ways the movie Mission: Impossible III wanted to be. In fact, Ghost Protocol builds off M:I-III brilliantly, recognizing that films strengths and amplifying them to great effect. This is also where the absolutely insane death defying stunts started happening, a trend that would soon define the franchise.  

Spoilers for Mission: Impossible-Ghost Protocol to follow. 

Every time I watch Ghost Protocol, i am blindsided by how good it is. In my odd little brain, this entry gets a little overshadowed. Rogue Nation and Fallout are two of my favorite action movies of all time, and I have a real nostalgic love for III, so I just watch those entries more.

But every so often I watch GP and am immediately mad at myself for not watching it more (though it's a welcome surprise every time). Bird directs the hell out of this movie, and he's first in the series to make use of IMAX cameras. I remember seeing this in the Bob Bullock IMAX here in Austin and the experience is only bested by The Dark Knight in terms of IMAX, in my humbly correct opinion. Bird really gets the most out of the large format and gives us numerous set pieces, each just as well put together as the last. The most insane of course being Cruise hanging 2722 feet in the air off a building in Dubai. No stunt double, just Cruise. It's an absolutely bonkers thing to see, and what's great is that it's mostly played for laughs in the movie, acknowledging how insane it is. There is still tension and stakes of course, but the movie never forgets to have fun. 

The movie is also eerily reminiscent of Cruise's career at the time. His character begins the movie having been thrown away in a Russian prison (not unlike Cruise had been discarded by Hollywood and audiences alike) and spends most of the movie being second guessed, forced to prove himself again and again. Jeremy Renner's character almost exclusively carries the weight of questioning Tom's character, Ethan.  The idea of bringing Renner into the fold was to possibly hand the franchise to him, and let Tom step aside. Both Tom and Ethan fight this though, and prove that they still have what it takes.

Ironically enough, this film's success all but guaranteed that Renner would never take over, as they quickly put him in a corner in the next installment and decided they simply didn't need him for Fallout. But still, he proved to be a great foil for Cruise here, and gave the star and the character a reason to fight. It's a great pairing that the movie benefits from. Honestly, the whole team aspect is great here, something that would continue to get better in subsequent installments. 

Special shoutout to Paula Patton, as she is easily the first truly badass female character in the franchise (I'll always love Michelle though), and I'm a little surprised she never returned. She has an amazing fight with Lea Seydoux that is a franchise highlight. Here's hoping she could pop up in one of these last two installments. 

The Dubai stunt was a marketing center piece that heavily pushed the IMAX element. In fact, the film's first weekend was an IMAX only event to build word of mouth. This meant that on its first weekend, Ghost Protocol opened in 425 theaters. For comparison, Mission: Impossible III opened in 4,054 theaters 5 years earlier. Now, the filmmakers wisely decided to skip the blockbuster friendly summer time frame,  where the previous installments opened, and instead chose mid December. The Christmas/New Year holiday time frame is one of the biggest movie going time periods of the year, a time when multiple films can flourish, and GP took advantage of that. The movie opened to $12 million its first weekend, a sum that seems small at first, but considering its small theater count is actually quite impressive. The fact that the critics loved it as well only fueled the fire. Mission: Impossible- Ghost Protocol ended up grossing $209 million domestically (second only to M:I-II) and $694 million worldwide, officially the highest grossing worldwide movie of Tom's career up to that point. A real deal home run. 

And somehow, the franchise actually gets better from here. 

Mission: Impossible III

Mission: Impossible III proved to be a turning point for our boy Tom. It had been six years since the previous installment came out and ended up being the biggest hit of his career up to that point. Cruise followed that up with Vanilla Sky, Minority Report, The Last Samurai, Collateral and War of the Worlds, all of which grossed at least $100 million domestically (with Worlds unseating M:I-II as Tom's biggest hit). The man was on a hot streak. And it seemed like Mission: Impossible III was poised to continue that trend. 

For this installment, Cruise hired veteran TV director/producer/writer JJ Abrams (LOST, Alias, Star Trek, Star Wars: The Force Awakens) to direct M:I-III, his first feature. Abrams comes out of the gate confident, delivering one of my personal favorite entires in the whole series. 

Spoilers for Mission: Impossible III to follow. 

I was 20 years old in 2006, the absolute right target for this slickly produced action sequel. The trailers were intense, promising a power house villain in Phillip Seymour Hoffman (!) and highlighting the film's show stopping set piece on a bridge, and I ate that shit up. This was before we knew just how good this series was about to get, so at the time just getting a ridiculously fun and entertaining action yarn was a huge plus (and to be fair, this installment basically lays the groundwork for where the series would go). And honestly, the movie turned out to be exactly what I wanted to see in that exact moment, which is always a memorable occasion, so i still have a lot of fun with this one all these years and installments later. 

Even if you're soft on this entry, you cannot deny how great Hoffman is as the big bad, probably my favorite villain of the entire series. It's clear he's having a blast here, and he gives it his all, even holding his own in a fist fight with Cruise near the end (never mind that Tom has a tiny explosive in his head that is about to go off). And Michelle Monaghan is the most believable love interest yet. Her and Cruise have great chemistry, and they do a lot with what little time we get with those two characters, giving the audience just enough to care when she gets kidnapped. 

As for Tom, he's as good as ever. For the first time we see Ethan Hunt as an actual human, having conversations about love and life with his partner and friend, played by Ving Rhames. He's constantly going out of his way to save innocent lives. The character is actually evolving, even if only a little. But again, this is the movie that laid the seeds for what the franchise would become, so it's no surprise it's as good as it is. 

If anything, the film suffers from a "very expensive TV episode" feel in various ways and sequences throughout the runtime. Of course, most of this can be attributed to the fact that it was Abrams first movie, but still, it's probably the least cinematic of the series. 

But overall JJ delivers a massively entertaining movie, warts and all, so it's shocking to me to know that it's the least grossing entry in the franchise by a mile. With $134 million domestically and $398 million worldwide, the movie barely broke even with a huge $150 million budget plus marketing cost, which is often the price of the film itself.  How could such a solid entry in a massively popular action series do so poorly?

First off, summer 2006 was pretty stacked, with The Da Vinci Code and X-Men: The Last Stand both coming out two and three weeks after Mission: Impossible III. Neither of those two are good movies, mind you, but they did make BIG money. So the film had some competition. But also, with the worldwide promotional tour, the insane Oprah interview that the internet memed to death, and the weirdness of Scientology and his involvement coming to light, I think it's safe to say that for the first time in his career audiences were sick of Tom Cruise. Okay, sick is a strong term, but he was definitely over exposed at this point and it backfired. Even with the continued success of this franchise, Tom's career never fully recovered. He never stopped making quality films of course, but that loyal audience of his no longer showed up every single time. 

The actor was able to do some damage control a few years later with his insane bit part in Ben Stiller's Tropic Thunder, but for the most part, Cruise struggled to get a decent sized hit in the years following Mission: Impossible III, the movie that seemingly ended his two decade run as the world's biggest movie star. 

So of course he made another one.